As I'm recovering from Devotion, a thought has occurred to me: I love to produce. The whole experience of producing Devotion was a thrill. I love being busy to the point of distraction, I love having my house and studio filled with people that need things from me, I love working with teams of people that are singlemindedly working toward the same goal, I love all of the problems that get solved, and even the ones that don't get solved can teach me something.
This was also the case when I was a waitress. I wanted the busiest section with the most demanding customers. Loved running back and forth from the cook to the customer (more on this later when I discuss why dancing is like waitressing!) trying to solve problems and make everyone happy. I love offering suggestions instead of just saying "No, we don't have that."
I also love a busy day at the FCBD Studio. People enjoying themselves and seeing the light go on over their heads when I show them something that they didn't think they could do or wear or understand.
And amidst all of this, staying centered and calm. I have to work on that because I can let myself get ungrounded and lose my temper, which I hate to do. But when I can stay cool and make things "go" I feel so rewarded at the end of the day.
7 comments:
I think being a producer would be a very difficult job. Being able to have control but at the same time being able to give the artists enough freedom to create their work. Finding the right balance all while handling the little bumps and boulders along the way. Geesh, takes a powerful woman to do all that!
That's the hidden beauty of ATS; the form demands a certain aesthetic and when you finally understand what it is you can let people experiment and create but it all has to fit inside the boundary. Some people find the word "boundary" to be limiting, but I find it liberating. I can be free to create because I know where I am.
I love that same busyness and sense of purpose, when each new problem or situation pops up and you're able to knock them down one at a time. The flow is great.
On the other hand, I have to make sure I don't let busyness take over because then I get lazy and don't bother to think ahead, plan or move forward. I need the down time to motivate myself into my course of action.
"Discipline is freedom." I have always loved that comment from a student at a dance retreat one year. When everyone looked at her funny, like she was making some kind of S&M comment, she explained that it was by knowing the rules that you had the freedom to really let go and play.
I think part of being a teacher is being the center of chaos and helping everyone around you find a balanced center. If you're not good at that, your teaching will not be as effective, because it is that leadership students need to really learn to fly. I like being looked to for solutions as well, and I love the challenge of critical thinking and creative problem-solving (and I liked being a waitress, too, for some of the same reasons! I often have thought that if I "fail at this dance thing", I would probably go back to that first!)
Shay that student phrased what I have been trying to verbalize for years! Thanks to all the anchors out there who keep folks from floating away.
That student phrased what I have been trying to verbalize for years. A huge thank you to all the anchors who keep folks from floating away!
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